Thinking about it now, I can't remember the usual transition period where two people go from being "my co-worker Brian and his wife" to "my friends Brian and Iris". There is no question about it - by the end of the first meal we shared, Iris was a friend.
On the topic of meals, we shared many and each one was a highlight (especially the ones Iris had a hand in preparing!). She introduced Dawn and I to so many foods we would have otherwise gone our entire lives without trying. Small things like this make a big and lasting difference and I can easily say that all of the small things Iris shared with us have added up to a big positive impact. I am, and forever will be, grateful for every opportunity I had to sit down at a table and share an evening with her. My life is enriched for having known Iris.
Despite each obstacle she was dealt, I never once experienced an instance where Iris let these obstacles define who she was. When I reflect on my memories now, I don't think about the disease that afflicted her; I think about the simple things that entertained us and brought us joy in the moment. Iris once spent almost 10 minutes trying to teach Dawn and I how to properly make little hearts by crossing our thumb and forefinger like so many K-pop starts do on Korean game shows. I still don't think we're doing it right. She added depth and character to every conversation and somehow managed to politely redirect the discussion to something more substantial when Brian and I got too deep into trivial discussions about office politics or video games. Whether the discussions were about travel, culture, food, or relationships, each one has added immeasurable value to our lives and has helped to shape and grow my perspective on the world.
These are all things that I would like to say to her, but I can't and that's OK. Brian stated that her wish was that her friends and family live happy lives. I am happy. I am happy to have known Iris. I am happy to possess so many positive memories. I am happy to see the positive impact she has had on so many people. I am happy and Iris contributed to that.
