Eulogy

To begin, Iris, myself and our families want to thank everyone for being here.  It means a lot that we were surrounded by so many people that love Iris the way that you do.  You are all here because you made our lives that much easier.  Whether it was helping us take care of things that we otherwise could not do, or simply being there to laugh, eat, and enjoy each other’s company. We forget none of it. Before Iris passed, she told me that she felt very loved.  That love came from all of you.  

To Iris’s parents and brother, I want you to know that Iris and I couldn’t have done this without you. Iris lived a full life because of your love and caring. Whenever she needed you, you always came running.  She loves you very much. Your love kept her alive.  

To my parents, aunt, and sister, thank you for all the support that you’ve given us. For taking Iris as your daughter, and for being there for us. 

Lorea, I hope you know that Iris loves you very much. You always had our backs – whether it was a long bout of house sitting or just being there with us.  You always did your best to make our lives easier, and did more than any other friend.  

Jamie, Pastor Peter, Caroline and Ran, thank you for taking care of Iris’s spiritual side.  It was one of my shortcomings, but I knew Iris was always in good hands.  Keeping Iris in touch with God was only possible through your hard work.   

To Iris’s health care team – her doctors, doctor’s assistants, nurses, massage therapists, thank you.  In particular, Rona Cheifetz, Karen Goddard, and Meg Knowling – thank you.  You always went above and beyond to help us.  Your compassion is incredible, and we wish you all the best.  

Now … about Iris… 

First, a message that Iris wanted me to share with you is this – we lived a happy life.  Yes, we had some hard times, maybe more so than others, but we always found a way to be happy.  The cancer was only a small part of our life, not all of it.  Iris felt it was really important that you hear this and understand.  And that you, in turn, live a happy life too. 

One of life’s hard realities is that life’s not fair. But living isn’t about what’s fair or unfair – it’s about how you deal with it. And Iris dealt with all the trials with grace and resilience.  That resilience is one of Iris’s defining characteristics, and she taught me a lot about it. Bad days happen - but she was always able to move past those quickly and focus on life to come. 

Iris taught me a lot of things.  She taught me how to move forward.  She taught me how to be a man.  She taught me how to fight tooth and nail for what you want.  She taught me how to exhaust all possibilities.  But she wanted me to share one lesson in particular, and that’s this – 

Don’t just wait for life to happen to you, go out and grab it. Your time is precious. Live a life full of love. One that is as happy as ours was. She loved good food – we ate good food; she loved to travel – we travelled; she loved beautiful art – we saw many beautiful pieces of art.  So understand the things that make you happy, focus on them, and make time for them. Forget about the small things, they are nothing.  Embrace this lesson, and live it.  That is the best way to honour Iris’s memory.  

And finally, I’d just like to share a small snip of one of Iris’s last waking moments.  In this moment, her parents, her brother, and I we all able to say good bye. As we did this, I looked out the window and saw something that brought us all great peace. As Iris fell back asleep, I watched the sun set and a rainbow tucked into the clouds.  That rainbow had no business being there – it wasn’t raining that day, it was sunny.  But there it was – a rainbow. When Iris and I were first dating, I wrote her a love letter about the different meanings of her name.  In Greek mythology, Iris is the goddess of the rainbow. I take this as a sign that Iris is okay – that God has taken her in with open arms.  So take comfort in the signs that are present all around us. Take comfort that Iris is in a better place --- because I know that Iris is in a better place.